"Uncovering the Strength Within: Strategies for Coping with Life's Challenges and Stress"

Story first... Lesson after...

I had a minor car accident at work the other day. I was dropping off packages at people's homes, and I came to the next address on my list.

As I approached the house slowly, I saw that the neighbour's had shared driveways and there was a woman gardening right in the middle of the small strip of land between them. This made me wonder which house she belonged to. I was backing up slowly so that I would not block both driveways when suddenly, I heard a loud noise and a very angry woman yelling YOU HIT MY CAR! 

I immediately put my truck in park while the shame started to fill my body. How could I have done this? Why wasn’t I checking my reverse camera?  

I got out and she continued to yell “YOU HIT MY CAR!” I said “I know I did, and I am so sorry.” I knew by her expression that she was not feeling an ounce of compassion for me, and I did not blame her. Some moron just backed into her car right in front of her.

My continuous attempts at apologizing were not going to cut it with woman, and the shame just kept filling my cup until the tears started to fall from my eyes which were hidden behind my big and bougie sunglasses.  

I continued to assure her that everything would get sorted out, and that my supervisor was on his way to make sure that everything was looked after the way it should be. I feel that now is a suitable time to say that there was absolutely no damage.

While we waited for my supervisor to arrive, she shouted to the neighbours “SHE HIT MY CAR!” as I silently cried in the driver's seat of my truck. Not only did she shame me with her vicious reaction, but now she wanted to shame me to the neighbours.  

The neighbours came over and her words started to melt together as I allowed my mind to drift away from the stories of her bad luck with vehicles and how she won’t even drive on the highway anymore. The man from across the street quietly came over to my open door and assured me there is no damage. He moved in even closer to say “She’s always like this. Don’t feel bad.” 

When my supervisor arrived, he pulled me aside before anything to ask me if I was okay. It was quite visible that I was upset. The tears began to pour out even more as he told me not to worry and that everything will be okay. He asked me to take a deep breath and reminded me that I am a wonderful person and accidents happen.  

What the hell was happening here?  

I knew in my mind that everything was okay. 

I knew that this woman had anger in her that had nothing to do with me. 

I knew that there was no damage. 

I knew it was simply an accident. 

I knew I wasn’t going to lose my job over this. Accidents happen. 

Yet, here I was being bombarded with emotions that were spilling all over the place. Emotions that I could not control. All I wanted to do was go home and hug Scott because I needed a hug.  

The truth is, I have been so stressed out over the last few weeks. I have been battling my own emotions, suppressing them because that’s what moms do when we have kids to take care of and partners to please. It is easier to pretend everything is okay when it is not.  

I wasn’t crying because this woman was mad at me. I was crying because I was carrying a full cup of emotions and this woman shook things up, and they came pouring out.  

Now let’s turn this around and assume that the same thing happened within this woman.  

She was not shaming me with her words and raising her voice at me because she was mad at me. She has her own cup and I just happened to shake hers.  

It’s easy to get angry with somebody for how they react to a situation, but I am mindful enough to know that her anger was much more than me bumping into her car which is part of why I remained kind and calm.  

Introduction 

Life is full of challenges and stress. Sometimes, we face situations that shake us up, such as losing a job, having an argument, or facing a health crisis. How we react to these situations reveals a lot about what is within us. Some people spill anger, frustration, or bitterness, while others spill kindness, gratitude, or optimism. What comes out of you when something shakes you up? 

Why do we spill what is within us? 

The analogy of the spilled coffee is a simple but powerful way to illustrate how our inner state affects our outer behavior. When a cup is filled with coffee and someone bumps into it, the coffee spills because there is coffee in the cup. Similarly, when we are filled with negative emotions and thoughts and someone or something triggers us, we spill those emotions and thoughts because they are within us. The trigger is not the cause of our reaction, but the catalyst. The cause is what is within us. 

How can we change what is within us? 

If we want to change how we react to life's challenges and stress, we need to change what is within us. This is not an easy or quick process, but it is possible and worthwhile. Here are some steps that can help us change what is within us: 

• Identify what is within you. Be honest and aware of your emotions and thoughts. What do you feel and think when something shakes you up? Do you feel angry, sad, anxious, or resentful? Do you think that life is unfair, that you are a victim, or that you have no control? These are signs that you have some negative emotions and thoughts within you that need to be addressed. 

• Release what is within you. Find healthy and constructive ways to express and release your emotions and thoughts. You can talk to someone you trust, write in a journal, meditate, pray, or do some physical activity. Do not suppress, deny, or avoid your emotions and thoughts, as this will only make them stronger and more likely to spill out. 

• Replace what is within you. Once you have released your emotions and thoughts, you can replace them with more positive and empowering ones. You can do this by practicing gratitude, affirmations, optimism, and compassion. You can also seek help from a professional, a mentor, or a support group if you need more guidance and support. 

• Repeat the process. Changing what is within you is not a one-time event, but a continuous process. You need to keep identifying, releasing, and replacing your emotions and thoughts as you face different challenges and stress in life. You also need to be patient and compassionate with yourself, as this process takes time and effort. 

Conclusion 

Life is going to shake you up, it's inevitable. What comes out of you when something shakes you up? You can choose to spill what is within you, or you can choose to change what is within you. By changing what is within you, you can change how you react to life's challenges and stress, and become a more resilient, positive, and happy person.